We at B*B love email, we love it when it's being sent furiously
from mailboxes around the world into our hot little hands.
We love the feeling of anticipation as we click each letter.
What does the outside world have to tell us? What kind of
mysterious government secrets does the public have to share
with us? However recently the amount of mail has just been
too much, as such it's time to begin a proud tradition carried
on from website to website. Thus it begins, the B*B mailbag...
We'll
start with this enigmatic number from Mr. Do:nger
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From : <allice@yahoo.com>
Reply-To : <allice@yahoo.com>
Sent : Monday, September 20, 2004 3:19 PM
To : dvanwi@hotmail.com
Subject : Plan ahead
She'll Luv it
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Short
and to the point, Mr. Do:nger doesn't cut any corners. I
can only assume She'll luv it, was referring to the countless
women who come to read B*B everyday and just can't wait
to see the mail bag, our new convoluted creation.
But
like Caesar will tell you, you can never have too many fans,
and Anna Taylor emphasizes her love of B*B by recognizing
our arduous financial situation.
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From : Anna Taylor <hfqngndv@mail.klfsn.net>
Sent : Thursday, September 16, 2004 1:10 PM
To : "vince401" <vince401@hotmail.com>
Subject : Householder advise aug/2004
Here is your chance to win a whole year house payment.
householder sweeepstakes!
Strong growing investment plan, double your asset in a year!
Best Wishes!
Anna Taylor!
Financial Consultant!
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Thanks
but no thanks Anna, we'll figure out how we're going to
pay the bills on our own. Whoring Tycho out to Japanese
Businessmen for hard nights of endless pleasure has worked
out well so far, but by golly if we're in a pinch we'll
certainly look into your evil scam / legitimate sweepstakes.
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From : Timothy Thomas <tthomas@meak.net>
Sent : Saturday, September 18, 2004 4:10 PM
To : "vince401" <vince401@hotmail.com>
Subject : Consolidate your debt.
Make your penis so big she will cry at the sight of it.
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I
like Tim's letter because it lures me into a false sense
of security with the title inferring that through some ancient
egyptian secret that has been long forgotten I can somehow
turn my mountains of debt into mounds of naked women and
gin. However it was all a devious ploy to encourage me to
enlarge my penis. I don't know how many people know about
my severe lack of a large penis, but obviously I'm going
to stop telling my friends about it so they quit spreading
the word.
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From : <whitneywaltersnt@tv2lorry.dk>
Sent : Tuesday, September 21, 2004 9:55 AM
To : vegabyte@hotmail.com, wantad@hotmail.com, vince401@hotmail.com,
wencarlo@hotmail.com
Subject : $27139
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Holy crap, Whitney sent me
an email, with nothing in it. How indecisively rude, I feel
bad for everyone else forced to open this letter with anticipation
only to discover that nothing is there. Rage, rage flows
through me.
I can't take anymore mailbag
for today, now I'm all hot and bothered...until next time
B*B'ers...
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