I
recently had the chance to go to a Demolition Derby, my
whole "never leave my house" policy will not apply
if cars may be crashing into each other or terrorists have
crashed a plane into my bedroom.
To those
who are uninitiated to the wide world of people running
cars into each other that's basically what a Demolition
Derby is.
Now
I've been to the stadium where this is held before, for
a Rodeo a couple years back. I'm not about to go saying
it's wrong to go see a Rodeo, but in the small town where
they
hold this the majority of people who really show up are
the folks who wear denim overalls with nothing under them
and big straw hats. Y'know the kids who say Fishin' an'
Strategized Marketin'. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying
everyone who goes to the Rodeo is a drunken hick who just
got finished huntin a rabbit behind his trailer who really
turned out to be Cousin Jethro and Cousin Sally (pictured
right). All I'm saying is that there are some bumpkins who
come to these, the same seems to apply to a Demolition Derby,
hey a night's entertainment for six bucks. I guess I can
see why they wouldn't turn that down.
So anyway's,
in all honesty there are people who get way into things.
Usually they're under the influence of some sort of alcoholic
beverage or maybe they're trying to impress Cousin Agnes.
Either way, these people have extensive knowledge on how
a Demolition Derby should be performed, so much knowledge
in fact that they usually yell and pester the drivers, insults
like "My Grandmother drives better than you."
Despite the fact Grandma is probably famous for driving
through a strip mall and thinking it was a highway during
rush hour.
 I
came here to see cars get destroyed, instead I hear people
screaming things at the referees as if they were at a basketball
game and under the influence of Opium. And these aren't
just teenagers who think they're funny and reckless, these
are grown men from forty to an age I can't decipher, it's
the one where you lose all your teeth but two.
All
in all they made for one interesting evening. The highlight
of the evening was of course one of the the drunken hicks
in back throwing his Pepsi cup at a cop/ref. (Apparently
the referees double as cops, no joke, this is how tripped
out and serious these Derby fans are.) I was actually almost
fearing for my life, the Demolition Derby/Rodeo visitors
seem extremely agitated and angry, and I doubt there's anything
as bad as a Rodeo riot.
In closing,
this article isn't saying you're a drunken hick married
to his grandma if you go to a rodeo, or even if you like
the Rodeo, but chances are if you're going to pick a fight
you have some serious issues to work out with a doctor and
or licenced physician.
Yes
sir it is a wild time at the Rodeo/Demolition Derby, I just
don't think I'm tough enough to hang out with this bunch.
|
