In
the vast world of technology we live in today, it is easy
to become lost in a torrential sea of information. Modern
days can be hard for the older generations. Those who were
used to buying things from a store are most likely terribly
confused by the people who order everything online and only
leave their dim lit house once a day to check the mail and
then hiss at the sunlight until they are back in their moist
abode.
So you
are surely asking yourself? How do I become more interactive
with the world around me. The answer is both simple and
complex. This paradox of an answer is programming. The both
complex and extraordinarily simple language consisting of
complicated terms, numbers, and commands.
Programming
is a powerful tool for any person living or dead. Without
programming you would not be reading this web page or even
be starting up your computer. Instead you would be homeless
and work in a factory gluing soles to tennis shoes for a
measly five cents an hour. See how important this is? So
why not be a part of it? Soon you can be like this guy.
Sure
he looks like one giant peppermint, but haven't we all felt
like Peppermints at one time or another?
Well
then, to start off you will need to know basic commands
to do stuff. Commands such as: goto, 1337, cin, compaq,
stuff. Now before your brain swells with confusing information
just know that all this is relative. So you ask, what do
I do with these commands? Why insert them into their relative
program of course. In no time you should be comprising terrifying
programs that have the power to murder your friend and make
his woman fall in love with you.
So you
ask, how does one construct a murder program? Well let's
look at this basic script.
<command
operation:
Kill Sam 1337ly
primary directive: steal Sam's girlfriend.
further orders: do stuff
goto: mall
also: 0v@rc1oC|< Pr0ceSS0r A\/\/eSme d00erd!
no more
command>
You've
finally crossed the world of the internet to real life,
and murdering nonetheless. God bless America and it's programming
ways. Now that you've come this far you'll be like this
guy:
So,
as you can see, it's as easy as one, two, three. Soon Sam's
girlfriend will be hopping on you like a homeless person
would hop onto his cardboard box to nestle up and go to
sleep. You've entered the digital age today, where you go
from here is all up to you.
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