The
world is full of ways of making money. Through the stock
market, running a lemonade stand, owning some sort of sweat
shop, pimping your friends out to people without them knowing,
and so on. But there are some ways of making money that
are so, unnatural, so trashy that it makes you cringe. And
one such way is merchandising.
To those
who are not business savvy, Merchandising is administering
goods based around a franchise that often have nothing to
do with said franchise. Harry Potter may be the best place
to start.
Harry
Potter has managed to spawn nearly every promotional item
possible. Harry Potter
TV Dinners will someday be ravaging america with their magic
macaroni and crescendo inspiring gelatin deserts. But is
that right? Read the books, when do you see Harry Potter
take a break from fighting talking statues or whatever he
does all day to whip up a bowl of macaroni? Unless that's
the plot line for the next book I don't see it happening.
But kids will buy anything these days.
Take
my sister for example, if it says Harry
Potter it is instantly cool. You can't beat a Harry Potter
tire rotation kit on your christmas list. Hell the books
have even spawned Video Games which little children gobble
up like snickers bars. Once again my sister is a prime example.
Upon sitting down to watch her play the game I note several
things, the game has an exciting sneaking game that she
cannot beat, the game has a rendition of that broomstick
game where you fly through rings that she cannot beat, the
game refuses to allow you to stab someone with your wand.
The game also enjoys constantly loading, from room to room
which gets old very very fast. This isn't even that advanced,
you would think they could throw in a few extra bucks for
a loading system that isn't crap.
But
the sad part is, in the face of undeniable crap, children
will buy it. Nobody really needs a Harry Potter paper plate
or a Pokemon bath towel, so why pay more money when you
could get an equally good plate or towel for cheaper? It's
just not logical. Personally I wouldn't want Pikachu wrapped
around my naked self, drying me slowly after a relaxing
soak in the tub.
So you
are surely saying to yourself "Egad Vince, what is
your point?" and the truth is closer than you may think..
Well the point my friend's is that this disgusting sickening
buisness strategy must end. But before I go further why
don't we have a little ad?
 
So
uh yeah, like I was saying, get your shirt today so people
will want to make out with YOU!
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